Memorial tree

Some kids decided we didn't need our tree anymore and cut it down. It was planted about a year ago in memory of Tristin. I can't even begin to tell you how upset I am. I had plans to make a small flower garden around it and place a chair out there so I could sit and remember my baby. I can't even begin to imagine why someone could do something that awful. In addition to the tree, they pulled up 3 lilly stalks and pulled out one of my walk way lights and placed it in the neighbors yard. Summer must be so hard on those kids that they had nothing else to do but rip up someones yard.
As if this week hasn't been hard enough. On Tuesday, Griffin started summer school for first grade. We sat outside eagerly waiting for him to return home and when his bus arrived Griffin wasn't on it. The bus driver said that she dropped him off at another bus stop. Panic set in. My husband rushed to the other stop to look for him and couldn't find him. I called the school and they didn't know where he was. My husband continued to look for him and he was still missing. At that point we had to call the police to look for him. After many calls back and forth from my husband to the school and police, the school reported that they had found him on another bus, and that he had been there the whole time. An hour and a half later our son was returned home to us. For an hour and a half our son was a missing child. I haven't been that scared since Tristin coded. Griffin wasn't the only lost child that day, there were 5 other children that were missing. Thankfully, all were found and returned home to their families.

I think I've had enough drama for one week. All things that should never have happened in the first place.

2years

I can't believe it's been 2 years already. Today has been especially hard for us. We miss Tristin so much. Please think of Tristin today and how hard he fought to be here with us.

11 weeks old.

Tuesday, Lorelei will be 11weeks old. Time is flying by already. Wednesday, Lorelei was 2months and 10 days old. The exact age that Tristin was when he left us and went to heaven. Alot of things went through my mind that day. I was nervous, even though she is healthy, I was afraid of losing her too. And I was also sad thinking of Tristin and how those 2months 10days seemed to go so slowly in the hospital, and have gone so fast being here at home with Lorelei. Griffin said something the other day that I have thought many times before. He was looking at Lorelei and said " this is how it should have been with baby Tristin". It broke my heart to hear him say that, even though I have had the same thoughts. I wish that I could have had the same experience with all three of my children, to bring them home from the hospital and have those special family times. I wish I could have all three of my babies here with me, to hug all three at the same time. I miss my Tristin and think of him every day, and of that short 2months and 10 days we had with him. I hope he is watching over us and knowing how much we still miss and love him. He will always be my rockstar.

non stress test today

I went to the Dr. today. Everything appeared good. I mentioned that I hadn't felt the baby kick as much recently. So, they decided to do a non-strest test on me. The baby seemed to do ok but did slow her heart rate a little bit. The doctor wasn't worried though, he said that her heart rate accelerated well after the dip. At one point the heart rate stopped for a second after she moved. They said that it could have been that it just lost contact for a second. I was at the Dr.'s office all by myself today so I left there a total wreck. They assured me that everything was ok, but everyone always said things were ok with Tristin, and then we lost him. I hope tomarrow is a better day for me. I see my Dr. again in a week.

baby shower

I had a wonderful babyshower yesterday. One of my few happy days. I had about 20 people there to celebrate Lorelei's upcoming arrival. The decorations and the cake were great, and I got lots of beautiful clothes for her to wear. I am so excited about this little girl. 3 more weeks until delivery unless I go sooner. The night of my shower I started having contractions every 20 minutes for an hour. I was so scared she was going to come then, but thankfully the contractions stopped. I've got a doctor's appt. tomarrow. Hopefully everything will go well.

Comparasin

I also included some ultrasound pictures toward the bottom of the blog of what Griffin and Tristin looked like in their 3D ultrasounds. So you can see just how similar they are.

3D ultrasound today

We had our 3D ultrasound today. It was so wonderful to see our beautiful little girl. I'm posting some pictures so you can see for yourself what an absolute doll she is. She looks alot like her brothers except finer features. She wasn't as active today as she normally is. She was active all day yesterday and last night. So, she thought today was the time to rest. We still managed to get some pretty good pictures though. And she is quite the chubby baby for only being 29 weeks so far. Only 10 more weeks until we can see her face to face. Isn't the miracle of life so amazing. I hope you enjoy the picures as much as we do.

Mandy (mommy to Griffin, angel Tristin, and Lorelei)